Meal Plan

Getting back on a "Meal Plan". Those words scare me. I was on a "Meal Plan" from June '10 till Oct 30th '10. Went from 118lbs w/23% body fat to 98lbs w/8%. Not sure how I did it but I did. Yeah I do know, 98lbs is defiantly not healthy. It was just what had to happen to compete.
But now that I want to gain muscle and to gain muscle I need to eat more than I am on a daily basis. I probably eat about 1700-2000 calories a day but now I will be trying to eat around 2800-3000. Am I scared? Yes. One of my biggest fear's is that I'll get fat. That's always been my fear. But I'm going to follow what I'm told and just see what happens. Sometimes we have to let go and let someone else lead.
When your a control freak and think you have it all going the way you want, it is really hard to let go and let someone else lead. I thought by only eating a few times a day and doing crazy cardio every night I would maintain what I had. Gosh what I've learned by letting go was awesome. The more you eat the more weight you can lose. You believe that? Neither did I, but it's true. And all that cardio, ha I wasn't getting anywhere but burring the muscle that I wanted to gain.
By letting go and giving up the lead has been a great lesson in lots of aspects of my life.
As a mother I thought that I was in control of everything and I did my damnedest to prove it. But about 5 years ago someone told me that I was not God and really I had no control except for my own actions. The was the best thing anyone has ever told me. When I realized, wow that's true, what a burden was lifted on my shoulders. I even felt lighter.
No matter how bad I wanted to change a situation, it wasn't going to change just because I said so.
So "let it go" is my new motto, lol

chocolate

How can it be that almost every minute of the day CHOCOLATE is on my mind.
I could eat chocolate for breakfast, I mean I did eat chocolate for breakfast. What kind of meal plan has you eat chocolate for bf? None hahaha
Today I should of worked out but chose not to. I feel so tired today. Maybe from working hard all week or maybe because I had 3 beers last night and 2 mixed drinks.
Alcohol I am thinking is such a waste to put in my body. I really don't get anything out of it and it just makes me tired. And not to mention the extra pounds that I don't want on my body. I just was told that alcohol stops the natural fat burning process of your body.
Lots of women tell me that they would like to get rid of there "middle" but don't want to give up their wine. Don't think that's going to happen. Giving up the wine part. O'well guess it's all up to what it is really want in life. I wish sometimes that tiring to stay in shape and working so hard on the body was not so important to me and just live life enjoying the dinner and wine in the evening. But I can't seem to get there.
Some women tell me that they are working out for the health part of it. Come on I really don't believe it. If we were all honest we would state that we have to work out and put good stuff in our bodies so that we don't look old, so that we can compete with the 30 year old. So that we don't feel at 40+ that we've given up on "looking good" or so we can still wear a bekini. Ok well being healthy is part of it but not all of it.
Jack (my puppy)and I are going to take a nap. I will be back at the gym tomorrow striving for that "healthy" body? na more like "hot" body!! (hot as it can be for a 43 year old lady anyway)

Zumbaaaaaa

After I was done with my show in Oct I was feeling a lot of anxiety about what was next. I had giving up all my cardio classes for lifting. So wasn't sure if that is what I wanted to go back to or not. I liked the muscles I was gaining and knew that I couldn't keep that if I went back to 100%cardio. Did I still want to lift 4 days a week? What were my goals going to be?
Well needless to say I am now lifting 5 days a week and taking zumba 2 days a week. Then it dawned on me, I want to teach a few classes. But where and when would I do this??
My girlfriend owns Fit 4 You gym and asked me if I would be interested in teaching some classes there. Bingo....since I already work out there this would probably work. Funny how things just fall into place.
I booked my flight to Tuscaloosa AL and my spot to get certified to teach zumba. I am excited and nervous.
I love taking the classes and feel that I can follow. I've always had a little rhythm in me so I am thinking this should be easy. But getting in front of the classes and being the leader scares the shit out of me. Some of you that know me wouldn't guess that but it's true. But with all my girlfriends support I'm going to give it hell. They say they'll come take my class. We'll see how that goes.
I will also be getting certified to teach a "group power" class. But don't have a date yet.
I think that if we all really thought about it the things in life that we've wanted that we didn't go after were due to fear. Fear holds us back from lots of things. I faced my fear straight in the face by going on stage in front of 400 people in a skimpy ass suite. I thought I was going to shake right out of my heals. (mind you I only had been walking in heels for 4 months prior to stage date..hahaha) but I did it and crazy enough plan to do it again.
Go for what you want, it's out there for the taking. Do something that you are scared to do. Live life, you only get this one!

Dinner with a friend

Last night I picked up a 23 year young lady and went to dinner.
The first time I had meet her I knew she was something special. She and my daughter were Friends. I knew little about her except for the fact that she was beautiful, she's 23 years old and her family consisted of her dog and cat. I knew that I wanted to get to know her more and try to be someone "special" in her life.
During our dinner she talked a lot about her life and how she ended up in Loveland. For everything that she has been through and where she is today there is only one way to describe her, Amazing. I am not sure if I am making any difference in her life but she sure is making a difference in mine. Is that selfish?
I think of my own daughter who struggles everyday. And how sorry I feel for her. And what can I do to make a difference in her life.
While having dinner last night though it makes me feel less and less sorry. Made me realize there isn't anything I can do to make a difference. She has to want it and make her own choices in her life. She has so many people that love her and are here for her. Loved ones that try and contact her daily to see if she is ok. But I feel that she takes advantage of that and manipulates those of us whom truly love her. She is good at making you feel guilty for things she didn't get or things she doesn't have. But after last night those feelings of mine are diminishing.
At a certain age we all have a choices in the path of life we take. We all have choices in the decision's we make. Sure some might have it easier than others. But I feel in the end we chose the life we want to live.
I love all my daughters and can't imgaine going through life not haveing a realtionship with any of them. They are all very specail to me. Breaks my heart that there are many daughters who don't have a mothers love but would do anything to get it!

from mom to figure competitor

This morning will be a first for me to be a blogger. Thank goodness they have spell check.

I wish last summer I would of started blogging about my journey from mom to figure competitor.

I spent from June 2010 to Oct 30 2010 working out with a weight trainer and a nutritionist. I did my first competition Oct 30. I did ok got 5th out of 12 in the open group (this is any age in my height group) but didn't place in the 40 and over group. Gives me something to work towards.

My husband was not supportive at all during this long process. He didn't like how skinny I had to get or that we really couldn't go out to dinner pretty much all summer. But in the end I was told by my kids and friends that he was standing and cheering for me when I got my 5th place. He says it was because it was all over. But maybe I am thinking he was a little proud of me.

The best part about my journey was my kids. They were so supportive of me. They were there to listen when I didn't think I could finish. They had to look at every picture I would send them to show my progress. They were there for me when I thought I wanted to give up and talked me into hanging in there. But by far the best part of the whole thing was hearing them cheer me on at my show. I didn't ever imagine that my kids would as proud of me as they were!

Today I am lifting heavy weights with hopes to do another show in June of 2012.