Meal Plan

Getting back on a "Meal Plan". Those words scare me. I was on a "Meal Plan" from June '10 till Oct 30th '10. Went from 118lbs w/23% body fat to 98lbs w/8%. Not sure how I did it but I did. Yeah I do know, 98lbs is defiantly not healthy. It was just what had to happen to compete.
But now that I want to gain muscle and to gain muscle I need to eat more than I am on a daily basis. I probably eat about 1700-2000 calories a day but now I will be trying to eat around 2800-3000. Am I scared? Yes. One of my biggest fear's is that I'll get fat. That's always been my fear. But I'm going to follow what I'm told and just see what happens. Sometimes we have to let go and let someone else lead.
When your a control freak and think you have it all going the way you want, it is really hard to let go and let someone else lead. I thought by only eating a few times a day and doing crazy cardio every night I would maintain what I had. Gosh what I've learned by letting go was awesome. The more you eat the more weight you can lose. You believe that? Neither did I, but it's true. And all that cardio, ha I wasn't getting anywhere but burring the muscle that I wanted to gain.
By letting go and giving up the lead has been a great lesson in lots of aspects of my life.
As a mother I thought that I was in control of everything and I did my damnedest to prove it. But about 5 years ago someone told me that I was not God and really I had no control except for my own actions. The was the best thing anyone has ever told me. When I realized, wow that's true, what a burden was lifted on my shoulders. I even felt lighter.
No matter how bad I wanted to change a situation, it wasn't going to change just because I said so.
So "let it go" is my new motto, lol