Weight

I wake up every morning and get on the scale. I know it needs to read 120. But what I know and how I feel are two different things.
It's a mind game and I play it well. Here is a sample of what it's like inside of my head.
The scale needs to say 120lbs. My nutritionist and my trainer both say 120lbs would be great. My husband says this would be good. My family says I would look good. But I like when it reads 115lbs. I step off the scale with a smile and a feel good feeling, I still weight 115lbs But I know that this isn't enough. I like it though. I know I need to get my weight up to lift more weight. I want to lift more weight. But I need to weigh more to lift more. I know, sounds crazy. Am I crazy?
The extra food I am eating must be working. This week so far I have lifted more weight than ever. I feel stronger and lots more energy. .
Wednesday I went out to dinner to have what I call a "cheat" meal. This is a meal that is not on my meal plan. But for the most part still pretty healthy. It was awesome.
This morning I weighed 117lbs. I am just going with it. Lets just hope that by Monday I'm not getting on the scale weighing in at 125. That would really mess with my head!